God, Money, and Matrimony: The Ultimate Couple's Guide
Alright, folks! Today we’re diving into the nitty-gritty of finances, and trust me, it’s a talk every couple needs to have. We're chatting about how to blend God, money, and marriage in a way that doesn’t cause a meltdown—especially as we roll into 2025. Jeff and I have been there, tangled in debt and wondering where all our cash went, but we figured some stuff out, and now we’re spilling the beans! It turns out the key to financial harmony isn’t just about crunching numbers—it's all about trust and communication. So grab your snacks, settle in, and let’s get ready to turn those money struggles into money snuggles!
Picture this: you and your spouse sitting down, not to argue about who forgot to pick up the groceries, but to tackle the biggie—money. In this episode, Jeff and Teresa Fields dive into the world of finances in marriage, sharing their own rollercoaster ride from debt to financial harmony. They get real about their past struggles, where every paycheck seemed to vanish faster than you can say 'let's eat out again.' But here’s the kicker—they didn’t just crunch numbers; they learned to communicate. They emphasize that getting on the same financial page isn’t just about spreadsheets and budgets; it’s about trust and transparency. They break down the steps they took to finally sit down together, lay everything on the table, and have the honest conversations that shifted their financial landscape from chaos to clarity. So if you’re tired of money being a sore spot in your relationship, grab a cup of coffee and tune in as they share tips that might just save your marriage from the brink of a financial meltdown.
Takeaways:
- Communication about finances is crucial; it's all about laying everything on the table.
- Honesty is key to a healthy marriage; hidden accounts just create distrust, folks!
- Regular financial check-ins help keep couples aligned on their goals and spending plans.
- Getting on the same page financially starts with committing to teamwork and transparency.
- Understanding your expenses can be an eye-opener; you might be shocked at how much you spend!
- Budgeting together means no one has a higher vote; it's all about equality in decision-making.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Dave Ramsey
- Financial Peace University
- Inspiring Marriages
Transcript
Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages podcast.
Speaker A:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields, and we are so thrilled to have you with us today, Teresa.
Speaker A:I am so excited about this episode.
Speaker A:We're going to talk about finances.
Speaker A: t God, money, and marriage in: Speaker A:We haven't always been where we are.
Speaker A:We were when we started out.
Speaker A:We had a lot of debt, and we.
Speaker A:We worked through that.
Speaker A:We used to struggle about money all the time, and it almost broke us.
Speaker A:It seemed like, you know, all the money came in, all the money went out, names were changed to protect the innocent.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:Wonder where it went.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But the moment we sat down, not to budget but to actually listen, everything started to shift.
Speaker A:Everyone kept telling us we need to get on the same page financially, but no one really tells you how.
Speaker B:Our breaking point, getting out of debt, wasn't about numbers.
Speaker B:It was about trust.
Speaker A:In this podcast, we're going to talk about the exact process we used to stop struggling about money and actually grow together financially and get out of debt.
Speaker A:Let's dive in.
Speaker A:Head on over to our website, inspiringmarriages.net there you can find the show notes for this episode and all the show notes for all the previous episodes.
Speaker A:And there's also a link where you can sign up to receive all of our latest offerings absolutely free.
Speaker A:So, Teresa, one of the first steps, I think, for any couple to get on the same page financially is you gotta lay everything on the table.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:So it's not.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:It's not knowing when to hold them and when to fold them and when to walk away.
Speaker B:Oh, dear.
Speaker A:You guys put the cards out for everybody can see.
Speaker A:So both spouses can see.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:There's no holding cards close to your vest.
Speaker A:So we're not playing poker.
Speaker B:Exactly, exactly.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:I mean, there.
Speaker B:There is spending that's going on and there's money that's going places.
Speaker B:And you just have to say, okay, I've got to look honestly, what I've been doing with money and put that out in front of my spouse, and we both look at it together.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:You got to have this honest conversation about your income, about your saving goals, what debt you have, and what spending plan you have.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:I remember that when I quit working, just before we got married, I had a nice chunk of money that was kind of like the retirement I had earned so far.
Speaker B:I didn't work a whole lot of years at this job, but I earned some retirement and I was able to just take it out.
Speaker B:So we looked at that and decided together, what are we going to do with this money?
Speaker B:And we probably applied it to some debt because we didn't need to buy anything.
Speaker A:Applied it to your car debt?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Applied it to my car debt?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So that was something we decided together because it was a nice chunk of money to do something with.
Speaker B:But that's.
Speaker B:That's the best thing to do if you've got debts, especially if they're thousands of dollars, that.
Speaker B:That's a great thing to decide on together, Right?
Speaker A:So, silence.
Speaker A:Why does silence breed suspicion, Teresa?
Speaker B:You think, wow, I mean, if I didn't know how you were spending money, I would think, well, what else is he not telling me?
Speaker B:You know, if he's not telling me how he's spending money or saving money or giving money away somewhere or maybe causing another debt to be added to our already existing debts, and I could be wondering, what else is he not telling me about, you know, and that.
Speaker B:That really causes a lot of, you know, unnecessary, like you said, suspicion and.
Speaker B:And distrust.
Speaker B:And you don't want that in the middle of your marriage.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You want trust.
Speaker A:You know, the.
Speaker A:Build trust.
Speaker B:Building.
Speaker A:Trust me, it's beyond conversation.
Speaker A:These are our debts.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:This what it costs.
Speaker A:This is how much the house payment is.
Speaker A:This is how much the car payments are.
Speaker A:This is how much you spend on gas.
Speaker A:This is how much you spend on electricity, heat, phones, water.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Let's go through all the lists of everything that just.
Speaker A:Just clothes, food, everything that goes as a huge list.
Speaker B:That's right there.
Speaker A:You may not even know all your expenses.
Speaker A:You need to find out what all your expenses are.
Speaker A:Just write down what you're spending money on.
Speaker A:You and you'll be surprised.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:When we wrote our first written budget, we were so surprised how much money we were spending eating out.
Speaker A:It was an abnormal amount of.
Speaker A:Of our income.
Speaker A:It was out of proportion what it should have been.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Really?
Speaker A:We kind of saw the.
Speaker A:We saw the numbers that we don't want to spend that much on eating out.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And that was the prices that things were over 30 years ago.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Imagine that now everything is like, doubled, expensive.
Speaker B:Going out to eat.
Speaker A:Proverbs 22:7.
Speaker A:A new living translation says, just as the rich rule over the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender.
Speaker A:That is a truth, isn't it, Teresa?
Speaker B:Yes, I. I think other translations say slave to the lender.
Speaker B:Not a good relationship.
Speaker A:Number two.
Speaker A:You got to decide together and spend together.
Speaker A:So how we learn to co budget and not co blame.
Speaker A:So we each get a vote.
Speaker A:So we, before the month begins, you got to write out right down all the money that's coming in for that month.
Speaker A:And if it's, if it's not a constant amount every month, then just kind of, kind of do your best and then write down what you're going to spend it on.
Speaker A:How much are you going to give, how much are you going to save?
Speaker A:How much are going to close, how much is going to gas a lean, how is it going to the electric bill, how much is going to water, how much is going to the house payment?
Speaker B:Car payment.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And on health, entertainment, your phones.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Your online streaming services, your things that you know you sign up for, you don't know your sign up for a monthly bill.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:All those things add up.
Speaker B:It's good to prioritize them too.
Speaker B:You prioritize them because if you put all the little spending at the top of the list, then you get down to the, the bigger items that need more attention, need to be, really need to be considered first.
Speaker B:And you're going to run out of money when you need to pay those big bills.
Speaker A:Dave Ramsey has a great system.
Speaker A:Sign up for Financial Peace University.
Speaker A:Yes, it costs money, but just think if you, if you paid off your, your highest debt right now, would that be worth it?
Speaker A:You know, wouldn't that be worth to paying off a couple bills the next month?
Speaker A:Wouldn't that be worth it?
Speaker A:So what they teach is you got it, you both get a vote and you both get a say and you, and no one has a higher vote than the other person.
Speaker A:Everyone has the equal vote.
Speaker A:Both spouses have an equal vote and you gotta, you keep working on until you agree to it, right?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because it doesn't have to be hard and fast and like you said, month to month it may change.
Speaker B:You may have to vary some things because, because you have different things that come up that need some attention, need some finances and it may be different than the last month or the last six months.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So in those cases all you have to do is just list out the things you want to spend money on in priority order.
Speaker A:And if extra money comes in that month, you already have it designated what to spend it on.
Speaker A:That's right, it's already on the list.
Speaker A:So Dave Rancid teaches about the four walls of your house.
Speaker A:You got your shelter, you got clothing, you got food, you got transportation.
Speaker A:So those, those are the highest priority things that you have you got to take care of those things first.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:So you got to have joint decision making on all your big purchases, right?
Speaker A:You're giving and your financial goals.
Speaker A:You got to come in agreement together.
Speaker A:You got to be in harmony.
Speaker A:Right, Theresa?
Speaker B:And having these things written down so you can see it and see what you're agreeing on for your household and.
Speaker B:And work on that together.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's so powerful.
Speaker B:It eliminates, like you said, all that not knowing where money's going and not knowing what each other's doing kind of thing.
Speaker B:It puts it all on paper in front of you, or all on your spreadsheet on your computer and where you can see everything.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:We have a question for you.
Speaker A:What's the one thing you wish you and your spouse had talked about earlier when it comes to money?
Speaker A:Drop us an email@inspiringmarriagest.net and let us know.
Speaker A:What's the one thing you wish you had talked with your partner about earlier?
Speaker A:Number three, you got to commit to no hidden accounts, no hidden agendas.
Speaker A:Transparency is a spiritual and relational discipline.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:That is so good.
Speaker B:That is so good.
Speaker B:I can't imagine having hidden accounts between the two of us, but we've heard that happens.
Speaker B:There are some people that say, I don't want my husband to know, or I don't want my wife to know that I've got this other account and I'm doing things.
Speaker B:Things with it.
Speaker B:Like that is just something that's going to undermine your marriage, right?
Speaker B:Really is.
Speaker B:I like that you say this is a spiritual thing, and it requires discipline in your relationship, in your communication, to.
Speaker B:To stay transparent in all areas, but especially these.
Speaker B:This area here about finances, you may not think that's a spiritual thing, but there are a lot of scriptures in the Bible about finances.
Speaker B:Really is right.
Speaker A:And husbands, remember, one of your wife's greatest needs is security.
Speaker A:So if you're taking money and spending on something secretly, let's say it's cliche horse racing or some kind of a gambling addiction that really erodes her sense of safety and security.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:True, true.
Speaker A:So, yeah, both ways.
Speaker A:When.
Speaker A:If there's secret transactions happening between spouses, that's just going to erode safety and trust.
Speaker B:That is so true.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Because, I mean, like we've said about some other areas of not being transparent, it gives the enemy a place to come into your marriage, into your household.
Speaker B:Start interfering in your lives and mess up your communication, like I said, cause a lot of suspicion, distrust, hurt and it will just snowball into something terrible if you don't address it early.
Speaker B:Try to get these things out in the open.
Speaker A:Teresa, what does the Passion translation say in Proverbs 22:7?
Speaker B:This is really neat.
Speaker B:I had never seen this scripture in the Passion translation.
Speaker B:It says if you borrow money with interest, you'll end up serving the interest of your creditors.
Speaker B:For the rich rule over the poor.
Speaker B:That's powerful.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:The Lord is telling us to not do this.
Speaker A:Don't borrow money with interest.
Speaker A:And we know lots of people who don't borrow money for anything.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:They save up and they don't buy something until they have the money for it.
Speaker B:Instead of borrowing money and then having to pay back with interest just to have a car or just to have something special they wanted to have.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So it is possible to do it another way.
Speaker A:It is possible.
Speaker A:You might say it's not possible.
Speaker A:It is possible.
Speaker A:Number four, you have to have regular financial check ins.
Speaker A:So it has to be weekly or monthly sit downs rooted in prayer and planning.
Speaker A:You should always be planning your money in prayer, sprinkling it with prayer.
Speaker B:Yes, yes.
Speaker B:Ask God for wisdom because he has wisdom about your finances.
Speaker B:And if you just skip that, skip the prayer part and just try to do it out of your own heads, you're not going to have all the solutions that you need.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And what it also helps do, it keeps your heart aligned.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:I love that our goals unified.
Speaker A:Right, Theresa?
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:And I mean, God is all about unity in your marriage and keeping your hearts aligned with his will and his plans for you and keeping your hearts and your goals together.
Speaker B:You're on the same page.
Speaker B:You're going down the same path together.
Speaker B:It's not two different ways that you're trying to go in your.
Speaker B:In your plan.
Speaker B:Plans.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So this podcast is part of our transparency series and if you would like a free transparency pact pact download, just send us the email atinspiring marriages t.net and let us know you want the transparency pact P A C T. And we will send you a link where you can grab that.
Speaker A:And it's free.
Speaker A:And if you would like prayer, send us a same prayer request at the same email inspiringmarriagest.net and we would consider it an honor to pray.
Speaker A:Pray over you.
Speaker B:Pray with you.
Speaker A:Where Jeff and Teresa Fields were Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:Remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
